During these difficult economic times we may struggling to cope with losses of jobs, savings, retirement and possibly hope in the future. It isn’t hard to believe how moments like these times can break us, but they can also make us. Research in positive psychology and other related fields shows that as we navigate through these times we can and often do emerge stronger. “There is mounting evidence in the psychological literature showing that focusing on cultivating strengths, optimism, gratitude, and a positive perspective can lead to growth during difficult times,” says Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D., author of the best-selling book, Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment.
Six Tips for Happiness
Advice from Tal Ben-Shahar
1. Give yourself permission to be human. When we accept emotions — such as fear, sadness, or anxiety — as natural, we are more likely to overcome them. Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.
2. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable. When this is not feasible, make sure you have happiness boosters, moments throughout the week that provide you with both pleasure and meaning.
3. Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. Barring extreme circumstances, our level of well being is determined by what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and by our interpretation of external events. For example, do we view failure as catastrophic, or do we see it as a learning opportunity?
4. Simplify! We are, generally, too busy, trying to squeeze in more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.
5. Remember the mind-body connection. What we do — or don’t do — with our bodies influences our mind. Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and healthy eating habits lead to both physical and mental health.
6. Express gratitude, whenever possible. We too often take our lives for granted. Learn to appreciate and savor the wonderful things in life, from people to food, from nature to a smile.
When individuals are as goal oriented as we are in this community, it is all too often difficult to live the present much less to be satisfied with it. Positive emotions are the key and although we are born with a great deal of our ability to come up with these thoughts, we can trick ourselves into an upbeat way of thinking. By focusing on positive emotions you can generate an attitude that is creative, tolerant, constructive, generous, and absent of defensiveness.
Depending on where you get your news from, optimism is not the strongest sentiment around the country. Global warming, a declining real estate market and statistics around the war paint the future as bleak at best. It is therefore up to each individual to find their own function in the state of what matters to them. By making a difference in their world and in the world of those around them they slowly but effectively change the future as well as their outlook of it. Lucille Ball, the actress and comedian once wrote: “One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.”
In conclusion, the more responsibility that you take for everything that you do and feel, the happier and more successful you will be. The less responsibility you take for your life the more likely you will feel pessimistic, worried, and perhaps even out of control. If you are finding yourself chronically unhappy, unsatisfied and worried seek help from a professional; you might be surprised how trapped your happiness really is.
Alina Gastesi-de Armas is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Florida Supreme Court Mediator and Parent Coordinator at A Place for Growth in Davie, Florida. Visit her website for more information at www.APlaceforGrowth.com. She can also be reached at 954-384-9373.
